This post is aimed at all of you arriving in college over the next few weeks — particularly those of you who felt isolated, alone, or awkward and inept in high school. For you, especially, I have a greeting, some amazingly good news, and a piece of advice.
The college libertarians rallying on the quad outside my window (on what, I must say, is a staggeringly beautiful day for a rally … or, more accurately, for standing around yelling into a bullhorn while no one pays attention to you) just made their case for supporting their cause thusly:
"Voting for the Democratic or Republican parties is like sleeping with your ex-girlfriend: they’ve already wronged you so many times, why do you go back to them?"
It should be noted that the libertarians appear to have no female members. Or female audience members.